Answering Machine

[lets_see_what_happens]

Hello. Please leave me a message here and I will respond as promptly as possible in the order in which they are received. If the matter is urgent, please let me know. Thank you.

Comments

[lets_see_what_happens]

No. No, in fact, Ivan, I did not.

Thanks ever so much.

1/3

[whatdidisay]

Then what do you have to worry about?

[whatdidisay]

( a few hours later, ivan comes back to this. )

[whatdidisay]

Not you, too. Gregor you can't!

[lets_see_what_happens]

[Can a text be icy? Gregor manages somehow.]

What, exactly, am I not permitted to do, Ivan? Please do me the courtesy of clarifying.

[whatdidisay]

( ugh fuck. of course he does. )

Anything that means you're not going to have ten children, Gregor, what else?

( oh my god what if this is why he's never gotten married and ivan is so extremely screwed forever?? unacceptable. )

[lets_see_what_happens]

I see.

If that is your sole concern, Ivan, I wouldn't trouble yourself.

[whatdidisay]

Well, are you happy?

Miles can do the whole 'concerned family member' talk, as your foster-brother.

[locked]

[lets_see_what_happens]

What does it matter? I don't need a 'concerned family member talk,' I know my duty. I'll never see him again once we go home and the reason you want me to have ten children is relevant once more anyway.

Why do you think I permitted myself this in the first place?

[locked]

[whatdidisay]

( wow ok this went in a direction he didn't expect it to. )

I meant to whoever you're dating, Gregor. Have you ever been on the receiving ends of one of those talks? Terrifying.

And of course it matters. It's been weird, having you here as a cousin more than Emperor. You can't forget it, but no one wants you miserable, as Gregor or as Emperor.

As for why, I don't know. Maybe you just really wanted to get laid.

Re: [locked]

[lets_see_what_happens]

That's a relief, I suppose, if 'not miserable' is the best I can hope for.

[He knows he's being unfair but he can't quite help himself--this stings, and it does so in a way he's completely unused to. The next text comes in a rush.]

And, yes, because I'm so casual and cavalier in my interpersonal relationships. Look, Ivan, I know this is stupid and selfish, all right? I know it's probably going to blow up in my face. I'm aware. I don't need the reminder.

[locked]

[whatdidisay]

I never said any of that, Gregor. Nor am I dumb enough to think I can win an argument with you. I just wanted to make sure you were doing this because it made you happy.

Good luck keeping him from m'mother.

( HES NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE OF HIS TEXTS

oh god he just upset his emperor oh god he's so dead
his mother is never going to forgive him and neither is miles oh god )