Answering Machine

[lets_see_what_happens]

Hello. Please leave me a message here and I will respond as promptly as possible in the order in which they are received. If the matter is urgent, please let me know. Thank you.

Comments

text; sometime while ivan and miles are drinking

[whatdidisay]

gregor

greg

guess what??? 😱😱😱😱

[lets_see_what_happens]

Ivan?

What? Dare I even ask?

text, somewhere between December 9-10

[hellsbel]

Spending night with Miles so he doesn't freeze. Hope you're somewhere warm.

[he said you read him the riot act when he got back. good. same. hopes you're out somewhere fetching more blankets.]

12/18

[hohnkai]

A copy of The Komarr Report, a strategy/military memoir written by Miles Vorkosigan's father, will be placed in your mailbox.

text. jan 2nd.

[whatdidisay]

Please tell me you got shacked up with someone for this planet, Gregor.

I didn't even plan this, this is great.

text. jan 2nd.

[lets_see_what_happens]

I'm changing the locks on our cabin when we get back to the ship.

text. jan 2nd.

[lets_see_what_happens]

And I'm keeping your cat.

Text, December 30-ish, early morning

[hellsbel]

Pleas tell me theres a hangovr remedy fr maple mead. And wher your br cou Miles is so I'gn kill im. Did you really try him fr treason at 17 what were how old were you ?? Thnk you for lettng us keep hm. Or th other way round. He givs his all. I cant send this on parchmt so you could burn it later, but luckly I have no sens of shame. If you havent tried th stuff yu shoud.


[it's not every day one gets to drunk-text the Emperor of Barrayar. seize the moment, eh?]

later in the morning

[lets_see_what_happens]

[Gregor stares down at the message for a long time, belly churning a little, unsure of exactly how to feel before he slowly types out a response.]

There is not a remedy, as far as I am aware. I've looked, having suffered that particular sort of hangover before.

...

If you still want that entire story when you're sober, I will relay it to you. It is not particularly flattering to me, to put it mildly, but you have a right to it if you want it. Let me know.

1/12

[forwardmomentum]

Since I promised you I'd always tell you what I'm going to do before I do it: Bel and I are using this mandatory matchmaking horseshit as an excuse to do a little recon planetside. Nothing audacious, don't worry. Just posing as a couple of tourists and seeing what we can see.

January 2, about half an hour after the thing happened

[hellsbel]

Never rains but it pours. Sorry to have to report that one of the new crewpeople attacked someone. Rinzler's his name, going by the directory. He'll be down in the hold by the time you get this; you can let him stew until morning, on the off chance you're not asleep. Don't let him out right away -- he's dangerous. Took two stuns to bring him down.

I'm in medbay. Got cut up a little. If you want to come up here in the morning, I'm entertaining visitors from anytime to whenever.

[there, all nice and professional. proud of themself!]

literally the second he gets it

[lets_see_what_happens]

Can you be so kind as to define 'cut up a little' for me, please?

[A few moments later.]

Never mind. I'll be there as soon as I possibly can.

1/18

[hohnkai]

A copy of Swords and Shield, a trashy romance series written by Varric Tethras, will be placed inside your mailbox.

Voice, then Text

[earthandpine]

((After THIS.))

My name is Rosethorn. There's been a violent altercation in the garden. The situation is already under control and no one was hurt, but I'd appreciate the presence of someone more familiar with the ship's procedures.

[Text, a moment later]
I want this handled peacefully, very carefully, and as soon as possible. The culprit is a child. Given what little I've seen of their mental state, I think it's dangerous to assume this will be an isolated incident. [She wants precautions in place, to protect the crew from Chara and vice versa.]

text

[lets_see_what_happens]

I... see. Please send me the names of those involved and I'll be down immediately.

January 13, night

[hellsbel]

[about twenty minutes after getting Miles bundled into a ground car on his way back to the ship]


Greg, Miles is heading back. We got into a bar fight. Don't let Ivan laugh. I got a black eye out of it-- [and more, and much more, and it's not why this is text instead of video] --just so you're not surprised. He could probably use some ice for his jaw. Fairly sure we weren't identified, but the damned organization is locked down solid; no intel.

I'll be taking in the sights down here for a day or so.

[the rest... the rest should come from Miles, if he wants it to; Bel... isn't conflicted at all.]

[lets_see_what_happens]

I'll make sure he's taken care of. Make sure you get some ice for your eye, as well, and let me know if you need anything further.

[Is it possible for text to be bitingly dry? If so, Gregor manages it.]

Your effort to actually make a report is both acknowledged and deeply appreciated, Captain Thorne.

Text - 2/25

[ultramatum]

Attention: Arbitration Officer Gregor Vorbarra
Subject: Inquiry Regarding Criminal Files

Hello Gregor Vorbarra,

My name is Ultra Magnus, an Autobot from Cybertron and current crewmember aboard the Moira. I recently spent some time in the ship medical bay in cryo stasis. Upon my return to duty, it seems that the captains saw fit to instate a new judicial system amongst the crew to deal with crimes and misdemeanors. This was one of several points I brought to Personnel Officer Miles Vorkosigan to pass on to the captains, and I am pleased to see they saw fit to act on my suggestion.

I assume it is because of this they chose to present me the additional duties of Bailiff and Probation Officer. In the future, I will be assisting in jury sessions, and following up with convicted crew members to ensure they do not return to undesirable behaviors. However, due my recent stay in cryo, it appears I missed many sessions, and was hoping you may assist me to getting up to speed.

As Arbitration Officer, as well as a senior member of the crew, perhaps you could provide me with more information on previous incidents. Despite the fact these acts may have taken place before my assignment to Probation Officer, I feel it would be remiss to allow those individuals to continue unchecked, and hope that in doing so to establish a precedent for any future criminals that may be working with me in the future.

If you could provide any information or documentation on such matters (arrest reports, disciplinary reviews, etc.), it would be very much appreciated. In addition, if there are any crew members you feel should be watched more careful, please inform me as soon as possible. If you would prefer to discuss these matter in person, please let me know so we can make appropriate arrangements. However, if this does not fall under the jurisdiction of your office, then I apologize for misunderstanding and would ask that you please direct me to the appropriate crew member.

Thank you for your assistance in this matter.

- Ultra Magnus
Moira Repair Officer, Bailiff/Probation Officer, (Former) Second in Command of the Lost Light, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord

Text - 2/25 - PRIVATE

[lets_see_what_happens]

[Gregor stares down at the memo in an odd mixture of amusement, disbelief, and a faint, odd covetousness of an individual who can write clear, concise, businesslike requests to total strangers. Perhaps the Ingress will spit out three of him and Gregor can take them all back to his head of security as an I'm-Very-Sorry-I-Was-Kidnapped gift. Gregor regards the memo thoughtfully for a long time, scribbles some notes, then replies.]


Attention: Ultra Magnus, in his capacity as Baliff/Probation Officer
Subject: Re: Inquiry Regarding Criminal Files

Ultra Magnus,

I appreciate you bringing your new posting to my apptention. Congratulations on your appointment, and I am relieved to hear of your recovery from medical.

The job of Abritration Officer was not presented to me with strict guidelines and I do not keep formal and detailed casefiles as such, partly because I do not have a reliable means of securing them and there is a certain measure of confidentiality that I believe should be maintained, despite our close quarters on this ship. Additionally, my post technically involves mediating disputes between individual crewmembers--I am not officially involved in the judiciary process, such as it is, nor have I been access to any official documentation regarding actionable offenses or any disciplinary measures the Captains have taken prior to this new system's implementation. However, I will be pleased to fill you in to the best of my ability.

The cases of Sans and Chara are somewhat complex, as they have an unpleasant history that predates their arrival on the Moira. I do not believe Sans is a danger to the rest of the crew, as he was acting in percieved defense of himself and his brother, Papyrus, who also is aboard. I myself assisted in intervening when Chara attempted to kill Papyrus when they first arrived on the ship, though I was not present for the incident itself--for further details, I refer you to Crewmember Papyrus and Crewmember Rosethorn, who was extremely effective in making a citizen's arrest and preventing Papyrus from coming to any actual harm.

Chara, I believe, is indeed a danger, but one that is made complicated by their legal status as a minor. I feel they will need to be monitored closely to prevent them from harming other crewmembers or coming to harm themselves, but that surveillance should be done carefully, as I believe Chara has had experience that gives them good cause to feel unsafe, regardless of the relatively regulated atmosphere of the ship. I reiterate that my post is not in the direct chain of command involved in ship discipline and punishment, but I would request any relevant updates on the situation as it unfolds as I am worried about Chara in a personal capacity in addition to my interest as Arbitration Officer in any potential future conflict.

One of the drawbacks of being Arbitration Officer is that I only hear about issues if they are brought to me by crewmembers directly. As the crew of the Moira appears to be aggressively self-sufficient in this regard, I have relatively little official casefiles to informally turn over to you, but I will endeavor to recall potential problem individuals to the best of my ability.

My fellow Arbitration Officer, Crewmember Aurelia Hammerlock, has shown a tendency towards casual violence that is frankly alarming. While I am not aware of any actual rules she has broken, I believe some further surveillance and/or a search of her quarters to uncover just how many lethal weapons she has in her possession may assist in heading off future violent conflict from that quarter.

Crewmember Bruce Banner, by all accounts, is an extremely personable individual and I would not be remarking upon him in a professional capacity were it not for his apparent tendency to turn huge and green and borderline unstoppable when frightened, injured, or otherwise unduly stressed. I reiterate, Crewman Banner when he is entirely himself is completely unobjectionable and he does not have full control over his actions when he changes, making holding him responsible for said actions somewhat complicated. There are safety measures in place to prevent him from injuring any of the crew, partly implemented by Crewmember Banner himself, but I find the matter worthy of your attention as a potential problem in the future.

Crewmember Rinzler, I am aware, attacked several crewmembers and managed to stab Crewmember Bel Thorne, an individual who happens to be an associate of mine dating back before either of us was on the Moira as well. This happened some time ago. He was placed in the hold for a period of time unknown to me, and I was not present for the conclusion of this extremely unfortunate affar as I was with Crewmember Thorne in sickbay. I would refer you to Crewmember Thorne for more information, as they have since made a full recovery.

Finally, Crewmember Loki, while I believe he is not dangerous per se, is an individual who seems to be excessively prone to mischief either carried out individually or aiding and abetting the questionable choices of others. It is in this fashion that he and Crewmember Miles Vorkosigan managed to break into and then get themselves locked in the morgue for three solid days several months back. They have both been disciplined by the Captains and no other crewmembers were harmed in this attempt, but he bears watching, if nothing else.

I do not necessarily recommend trying and/or punishing crewmembers ex post facto, as this system is fairly new, and these are only the incidents of which I am aware, but this is all I can think that should be brought to your immediate attention. If you have any further questions regarding my duties, any of the aforementioned incidents, the structure of the ship in general, or wish to discuss how we can more closely work together in an effort to streamline the judiciary process on the ship, I render myself entirely available to you as ranking officer in matters regarding the penal system aboard the Moira. I appreciate very much your dedicated service and will provide any assistance possible with all due haste. Thank you for contacting me and bringing this to my attention.

Regards,
Gregor Vorbarra
Arbitration Officer

april 1st.

[whatdidisay]

M'mother's here. From when I was two.

Thought you could use the head's up.

[lets_see_what_happens]

Oh. Goodness.

How is she faring?

April 6, morning, in person

[hellsbel]

[whisks out the door of Nomo 005 less than a minute after the message went through. hasn't taken time to finish dressing; trousers were already on, but no tunic softens the figure under the tightly fitted thermal layer. would knock, but the door--

brought up short for an uncomprehending moment, Bel pulls in a breath, lean face bloodless, staring at the twisted metal. what had done that?

after Greg's brief contact, though, it's almost unimportant.

why knock, anyway -- 'I'm coming over' is plenty of notice. it doesn't even occur to Bel to think twice about reaching for the handle.]

private. idk sometime mid/late april.

[whatdidisay]

Elizabeth knows. And before you say anything, it's not fair that Clark, Bel, and Eggsy know and she doesn't.

[lets_see_what_happens]

Ivan, how is it that every time I hear about a breach of security, it is almost always from you?

[vengeance_driven]

So uh...

Hi. Yeah.

I think shit is kind of hitting the fan with some of the crew having disagreements.

You need any help?

[lets_see_what_happens]

I do technically have a fellow Arbitration Officer, but she seems far more interested in threatening to shoot her charges than in actually arbitrating any disputes. Considering many of the disputes are being started by seventy-foot lunatics made entirely of metal I'm starting to blame her less and less.

By which I mean, yes, please, I would appreciate some assistance a great deal, Niko, thank you. Are you volunteering yourself, or did you have other candidates in mind?

text;

[commontype]

Hey, babe. Sooo I was wonderin' if you've talked to Chara recently. Was thinkin maybe we could, I dunno, do somethin' for them.

text;

[lets_see_what_happens]

[Gregor looks down at that 'babe' and sits for a long moment with his chin in his hand, fiddling with his MID and feeling unaccountably warmed. He pulls himself together in short order and focuses, willing the faint blush from his face.]

I haven't recently, no. Are they, hmm. [He searches for a delicate way to phrase 'have they murdered anyone lately.] Are they adjusting all right, still?

In any case, I'd very much like to collaborate. Did you have something particular in mind?