Answering Machine

[lets_see_what_happens]

Hello. Please leave me a message here and I will respond as promptly as possible in the order in which they are received. If the matter is urgent, please let me know. Thank you.

Comments

[whatdidisay]

mail came

except this time instead of some weird ass tree from the cetas i got a bunch of maple mead three barrels of it

which means

[lets_see_what_happens]

Which means you and Miles are completely destroyed and you still have two and two-thirds barrels left, how delightful.

Are you having a good time?

[whatdidisay]

yes, yes, no gregor its not delightful its like someone wrapped up a brick in maple leaves and hit me over the head with it because i thought itd be a good idea at the time which is definitely something miles does and i have remembered why i dont and im pretty sure that whoever came up with being traditionally vorishly drunk never went up into those damned mountains of their district or else theyd reconsider it all

yes
sort of
i think?
we talked

not the point

[lets_see_what_happens]

Well, you have no one to blame but yourselves.

'Talked'? Does that mean you've both decided to mostly stop behaving like irresponsible children? Aside from getting completely blind drunk, that is. [This is uncharitable and Gregor knows it, particularly when Ivan is this incapacitated. He relents a little.] I'm glad you two are speaking again, in any case.

[whatdidisay]

it seemed like a good idea at the time ( did he mention that? he feels like he did. also: ) you sound like mamere

me too

but theres some here for you
didnt want to think we were leaving you out sire
gregor

greg

[lets_see_what_happens]

I believe I shall pass, thanks.

Nice save, Ivan.

[whatdidisay]

good
probably for the best
what does an imperial hangover feel like anyway?


its hard to stop yknow
i dont mind though
you just being gregor

[lets_see_what_happens]

Pretty much the same as a regular hangover, I expect. With more meetings at seven-thirty am the morning after with a great deal more pressure to act like you're not hungover, depending on your day job. ...though, granted, with superior medical care, also depending on your day job.

I know. It doesn't bother me, not really, security concerns aside. But.

That means a lot to me, Ivan. Thank you.

[whatdidisay]

that sounds like hell
more hell than your job actually is
do you think that anyone who wants to sit on the camp stool ever imagines how much work it actually takes to be emperor of three planets?

you can thank me properly by coming here and having a drink
these are not going to drink themselves and theres probably a time limit in which we can pawn them off to our unsuspecting crewmates

im thinking drinking contest

[lets_see_what_happens]

I'm not sure. Nobody asked me before I was saddled with the job, certainly.

Miles will find a way to get rid of it, even if he can't drink it all. Though I know he actually likes that stuff, God knows why.

...I supposed I could drop by, if you're sure.

[whatdidisay]

yeah but you do alright and they probably wouldnt

im giving him a keg for the bar
its probably something he got from the vorkosigan side
so us vorpatrils and vorbarras get cheated out of the deal
i dont think thats fair gregor

yeah
miles is nearly passed out

( so he could use the company. )

[lets_see_what_happens]

Thank you for that ringing endorsement, Ivan.

I'll come back in a few, in that case. Just make sure Miles is all right. We need him alive.

For... I don't know. Tax reasons, probably.

[whatdidisay]

emperor gregor: probably the best emperor weve ever had
you can put that on your card i dont mind
do you have a card?

we need him alive or else youre texting the next count vorkosigan
also because neither of us wants to tell aunt cordelia or uncle aral what happened

dont let that happen gregor
im making sure hes fine
for being small and drunk

[lets_see_what_happens]

I'd add it to my résumé if I was ever going to be allowed to get another job.

Yes, well. Quite. Make him drink water if he's still conscious, tell him We order him directly. I'll be there in a few.

[whatdidisay]

what job would you get if you could pick anything else

😦😦😦 imperial we, greg? ill tell him but i want to see his face when you tell him to do it too when you get here

because he hates the we more than i do and thats saying something 😬

[lets_see_what_happens]

I don't know. I don't suppose I ever really thought about it. Maybe a low-ranking military officer, once, but now I'm not so sure.

Does it really bother the both of you so much? I was mostly kidding--only mostly because I don't really want to try to navigate a maple mead hangover.

[whatdidisay]

i give middling ops low-ranking officer a full ten stars, sire
highly recommend it

its not a matter of liking so much as we know you mean business when you use it 😖😖😖 kind of like the opposite when you go places as count vorbarra you know

[lets_see_what_happens]

Don't call me that here, please. But I'll keep it in mind.

I turn it off as much as I can, sometimes. Just, y'know. It's been my job since I was four. Sort of hard to shake.

[whatdidisay]

sorry
again
😶😶😶
i also found out how to use these little faces do you think you could make us have em back home

i dont think anyones going to care here what your day job is
but we appreciate the effort
thats not an imperial we
thank god
just so you know

[lets_see_what_happens]

It's all right. And, sorry, not really my department, beyond the fact that they're sort of terrifying.

It's still a security risk. Every time I consider letting it slip, I just think about the look on Simon's face if he realized I broke security. It's... sobering.

[whatdidisay]

theyre not that bad look this one is cats
😼😼😼

oh
yeah good point

( ivan doesn't even want to imagine the look on illyan's face if something happens. mostly because he doesn't want to live guilt stricken and terrified. )

[lets_see_what_happens]

I'm surprised you would be particularly fond of cats, Ivan, considering what arrived for you in the mail.

Isn't it though?

[whatdidisay]

did you have to go and ruin it greg

right so
doing nothing that will make simon illyan emote
got it

[lets_see_what_happens]

Sorry Ivan. 😇

That's a critical part of my plan basically at all times, I'll be honest. It's served me extremely well this far.

[whatdidisay]

i cant believe you just used a face at me
im both proud and slightly horrified

yeah because illyan is terrifying even when you cant tell what hes thinking
actually thats probably why
imagining him showing emotions is just
eugh